Whose Journey is it Anyway?

“We do not receive wisdom,
 we must discover it for ourselves, 
after a journey through the wilderness
 which no one else can make for us,
 which no one can spare us, 
for our wisdom is the point of view 
from which we come at last to regard the world.” ~Marcel Proust

The incredible journey of life….and life IS a journey no doubt.

When I look at the peoples lives I see around me every day, I see in full technicolor just how incredibly different each of our journeys has been and continue to be. The choices we have made or haven’t made have woven paths filled with experiences that have brought us from infancy to childhood to adulthood and beyond. Any variance, a different choice and the journey would look completely different. Taking a good long look at my own journey and accepting it for what it is and has been while embracing it in all it’s inconsistent craziness has been my greatest learning experience thus far.

I cannot speak for the feelings of the younger generation (specifically those just about to graduate high school and venture off into “the real world”) but it seems as if there is a more open attitude these days towards choosing your own path instead of going down the society standard chosen path of success. Perhaps with all of our amazing technology there is simply more exposure to the vast options out there….or perhaps this may just simply be my own perception.

When I was a young adult looking to venture out into the world, the choices I was given felt [to me] more like a choice between scripted plays rather than a blank page that I could choose to fill however I wanted. If I was to have the life that “everyone wanted” I should follow the appropriate steps in the appropriate order, not deviating for one moment. This to me is like going on a vacation and having that AAA planner that gives you up to the moment info on where you are on the journey, where you will be tomorrow, where you will stay [and how long] and exactly where you will end up. Now..this is not a bad thing at all and I admit I have taken that route a time or two. It’s been proven. It can and does work. The trouble was, as a kid (and even now quite honestly) I didn’t really have the desire to follow those steps. As organized a person as I was and am I didn’t want the ‘life GPS’ and the pre-planned guide, that path didn’t feel right to me. I wanted the journey filled with adventure, the VW bus with the windows rolled down and the music cranked up, heading for the coast with nothing but the road ahead of me and the memories behind me, taking in new experiences along the way. That is precisely what I chose.

As I grew up (and I admit I am still growing up!) I judged pretty harshly my own choices and decisions, wondering from time to time if everyone had been right all along and I had blown it. I looked at the lives of my friends and peers and often times thought that where they were was where I should be, not where I was. I heard the voices in my head from parents, pastors and peers saying “what are you doing?” and put pressure on myself to change, to fit in, to try and fix what I had “broken”. Let me tell you that becomes exhausting!

The truth is that all the voices and all the pressure and all the feeling I needed to fit in were coming from just one source and that was me. Yup, just me. Thinking that my journey had to look or feel like anyone else’s journey was in fact my biggest mistake. I mean…Whose journey is it anyway? It’s mine. It’s mine alone to take. If it is a success or failure [or a little of both] it is only because I have thought it so and I have made it so in my own mind. The truth is I am my own blank page and I always have been.

The acceptance of my crazy, adventurous, creative, unique journey has given me the clarity and motivation to keep moving forward, to jump back on that bus, roll the windows down and turn the music up a little higher. The ride may be bumpy, I may backtrack a time or two and there may even be a few flat tires along the way. But I can handle it. I know that.

Why?

Because It’s my ride!    It’s my journey….and it’s Fabulous!

What does yours look like?

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